Lakshmi’s day starts before sunrise. She prepares her father’s Parkinson’s medication and helps him sit up slowly, supporting his trembling hands as he eats breakfast. Between answering office emails and managing the household, she guides him through exercises and keeps a watchful eye on every step he takes.
By night, when he finally sleeps, she stays alert, reflecting on her day and wondering when she last had a day for herself, yet knowing she wouldn’t trade this care for anything.
Caregiving is often long-term and strenuous. It’s not uncommon for caregivers to feel lost in this journey, giving their all, physically and mentally, to provide a dignified journey for their loved one as they tackle Parkinson’s progression.
However, finding a balance, although hard, is nonetheless crucial.
Carving out time for yourself, even if it’s just an hour a day, an afternoon each week, or a full day once a month, can make a real difference.
These moments of rest, known as respite, are vital for caregivers, especially when providing care around the clock. Reaching out for help should be seen as a proactive step, not a last resort.
What is Caregiver Burnout?
When caregiver strain goes unacknowledged or unaddressed, it can gradually lead to burnout or a deep sense of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. It’s not just about being tired; burnout can shift your whole outlook, making you feel less connected, less patient, and less emotionally available.
This often happens when caregivers take on more than they can manage, whether it’s physically, emotionally, or financially, especially when they don’t have enough support.
Caregiver burnout can look like,
“I’m so used to caring for them that I have forgotten how to care for myself” – Mrs. T
“His symptoms just keep getting worse, and I’m scared what the end to this is going to look like. I can’t help but miss who he used to be, and how life used to be.” – Mrs. J
“I don’t even step outside, because I’m scared of leaving her alone at home. I don’t remember the last time I went outside for leisure.” – Mr. K
“I sometimes shout at them, but then feel guilty because they didn’t ask for this.” – Mr. M
What are the signs of burnout:
- Feeling exhausted even when you’ve had enough sleep
- Snapping or feeling irritated more easily than usual
- A sense of mental fog or confusion, sometimes mistaken for ageing, but often tied to stress and overwhelm
- Physical aches, tension, or other symptoms that are actually rooted in emotional strain
It’s essential to heed these signs. They’re signals that you haven’t been taking care of yourself.
What Can You Do To Manage Caregiver Burnout?
If you’ve ever flown on an airplane, you’ve likely heard this familiar instruction: “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.” That advice applies just as much to caregiving.
Managing Stress
You can’t eliminate the stress, try managing it with small, simple actions like:
- Turning up the music and simply moving your body to the tune
- Watching a favourite show or movie
- Gardening, exercising, chanting shlokas or doing something creative
Make your own “stress relief list” with things you enjoy or do while you feel the need to relax.
Asking for and Accepting Help
Feeling like you’re doing it all on your own can quietly lead to resentment and exhaustion. Don’t wait until you’re at your breaking point. When someone offers to help, be open about your needs, including financial stress or needing help with errands. Often, people want to support you but don’t know how unless you tell them.
It wasn’t until Lakshmi recognised the signs of burnout that she decided to make a change. She took small steps that didn’t change her father’s illness, but they changed Lakshmi. She felt lighter, more patient, and more present with her father and with herself.
